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Card
of the Month: Winter 2005
Queen
of Swords and how it relates to
Ten True Things
Part One of Three
My
daughter thinks it’s funny when I notice (and then think
it’s worth commenting on) such things as four red cars
in a row passing us on the highway. “Hmm…”
I’ll mutter, “Look at that, four red cars …
I wonder what that means?” Invariably she’ll roll
her eyes and proclaim loudly, “It means nothing!!”
OK,
my personality has a proclivity for seeking out how things
are connected and for the questions “what does it mean”
and “what is the truth.” Training in psychosynthesis
added fuel to the fire by reinforcing the knowing that there
is often a “story behind the story” and that layers
of meaning intersect and overlap. The choosing of a profession
which uses the symbols of the Tarot to facilitate conversations
about life has put to full throttle this search for patterns
of significant meaning.
Fourteen
years of sitting with clients has offered a wonderful opportunity
to examine the questions of meaning and interconnection on
a daily basis. And yes, clear themes have emerged over the
course of time. This article is the first in a series of three
which are dedicated to ten simple truths that have appeared
consistently in the life stories which I have been privileged
to witness. If at 51 years of age I have wisdom it is not
because I am wise, but because I’m paying attention.
Our
first group of concepts and the subject of the present article
is Keys to Authenticity. The second installment
will discuss Love and Relationships, and
the third article will make some Sweeping Generalizations
about How the World Works. As you read along through
the course of these articles, you’ll notice that concept
statements are kept relatively concise and to the point. An
entire article could be written about each idea, but for our
purposes here we’re going to keep things simple.
You
may also notice that concepts overlap, and find that what
is true about one area of life is also true about another.
Like a holographic image or the Fool card
and the rest of the Tarot, the whole is made from each separate
piece and is at the same time contained in each piece …
an enigmatic concept that we’ll discuss in our final
article.
Keys
to Authenticity
We
hear a lot of talk about authenticity these days. Many popular
books on the subject are available. Dr. Phil and Oprah are
always giving us hints how to go about “being true to
ourselves.” The message is out there, and yet I wish
I had a dollar for every person who utilizes eighty different
ways to talk themselves out of their own truth. Just one dollar
for every comment such as, “If I tell him what I really
want from our relationship, he’ll leave,” or “I
don’t really like working for this corporation but what
else is there to do?” or “I’m bored with
my life.”
It’s
both the function of our society and its biggest crime that
we don’t teach people how to be individuals. We learn
very early that whatever uniqueness we exhibit had better
be useful to the group or it is likely to get squashed. People
have trouble living authentically because they don’t
know who they really are, and they don’t know who they
really are because they don’t know what they value,
and they don’t know what they value because somewhere
along the line it has been denied, degraded, and then forgotten.
Therefore,
the first Key to Authenticity is:
It is Important to Know what you Want.
Recognize, admit, accept, and honor what is of value to you
as an individual. We can’t get what we truly need and
want when we don’t know what it is, or when it is something
that someone else wants for us. This can be more difficult
than it sounds; acknowledging what is in the heart of hearts
is the first step toward living an authentic life.
The
second Key to Authenticity is:
Learn to Follow the Love.
We all know the difference between being energized by a situation
or person, or being drained by that interaction. Or the feeling
of doing something joyfully and willingly versus doing it
simply because it’s “supposed” to be done.
Certainly we all need to do some things that we’re supposed
to do, like take out the garbage or pay the electric bill
or eat nutritious foods. But Goodness help us if we allow
“I’m supposed to…” to make the bigger
decisions in our lives: “I’m supposed to be married
to you,” “I’m supposed to be a doctor,”
“I’m supposed to have children,” “I’m
supposed to make $50,000 a year…”
Joseph
Campbell used the term “follow your bliss,” and
many people mistook it for selfishness. It is not selfish
to honor and protect oneself, and by that definition living
authentically requires that we pay attention to how our personal
energy is spent and how we connect with others. Learn
to Follow the Love means that we recognize the
people, places, and things which feed and nurture us and distinguish
these from others that might sap our energy. We learn to look
for the seed of truth in the things that make us feel good.
What a concept!
That’s
the inner version of Follow the Love,
but this Key has an outer component as well. We often try
to convince other people of our truth, justify our choices
to them, or look to them for affirmation as their stamp of
approval. We often don’t receive it. Remember: for all
the people might criticize our choices along the path of authenticity,
there are an equal (and perhaps greater) number who would
offer encouragement and support. Which voices are you listening
to? Follow the Love.
The
third Key to Authenticity is a statement
that people who know me have heard said before:
Don’t worry about the initials.
Having my Ph.D, MSW, or MBA doesn’t necessarily mean
that I’ve “made it,” and certainly doesn’t
insure that I’m being more authentic in my life than
the next person. I’m not saying to have initials is
BAD, I’m just saying that if we’re going to be
true to our individual callings, we can’t get hung up
on all those letters. They don’t guarantee anything
and the quest for them has led many a person into an unsatisfying
career. Attain them for the right reasons or don’t bother
with them at all.
Enough
said on that point.
Sometimes
I think of my work as a Tarot reader as one giant science
experiment: Look at the data and analyze the situation; present
a hypothesis; observe the outcome of that hypothesis as it
plays out in physical reality. I often tell people that, while
I have confidence in what we’re seeing and discussing
on any given day, the proof is always in the pudding. How
do things change in your “real life” after the
reading?
As
for the above-mentioned Keys to Authenticity,
these are principles which appear consistently over time,
whose implementation has brought genuine and sustainable results
in the lives of clients and friends. I present them to you
in the spirit of the Queen of Swords: This
is the truth as I see it; You are encouraged them to test
them and see what changes might result in your own life. (Hence
the outstretched hand: “come on, try and see things
my way…..” )
This
article is brought to you by Jeanne Fiorini, NFI.
(“No F*!# Initials”)
article © Jeanne Fiorini 2005
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